Question: How to practice mettā?
Than Ajahn: Giving is mettā. Giving kindness,
giving love, or giving happiness to other people is practising mettā.
Layperson: Some teachers said that we can
receive mettā or we have to give mettā to other people.
Than Ajahn: Yes. Mettā means giving with action,
not by chanting. People are mistakenly think that being mettā means sitting
down and chant the verses. Chanting is not mettā. Chanting is just studying
what mettā is. Chanting ‘Sabbe sattā averā hontu,’ is to teach you that if you
want to be mettā, you have to be forgiving. ‘Sabbe sattā anīghā hontu,’ is to
teach you that if you want to be mettā, you help people when they are in need.
‘Sabbe sattā sukhī attānaṁ pariharantu,’ means to give happiness to other people.
For example, you give Christmas gifts to people; people come here and give food
and things to monks. These are giving happiness. These are being mettā. Mettā
is giving with action, not by chanting.
Most Buddhists get confused and no one tells them the
truth. They thought in order to be mettā, they have to sit and chant. That’s
not the case. To be mettā, you have to be forgiving. Like when someone did
something wrong to you, you’d say, ‘Ok, I forgive you, no problem.’ It’s good
for you and for the other person. You feel good when you forgive others. When
you are angry, you feel bad. So, if you can forgive, you will not feel angry,
you will feel good. And the person that you get angry with will not get hurt by
your anger. It’s good for both of you. This is mettā. You have to do it. You
don’t just use chanting.
Chanting is to remind you to do these four things;
mettā has four methods: first – to forgive; second – to help those who are in
need; third – not to hurt other people by your action; and fourth – to give
happiness, like you come here and give me some chocolate, you make me happy,
you give me mettā, and I like you. You build friendship.
When you give something to people, they will like you.
But don’t expect them to give you anything in return or expect them to like
you. Just give. By giving, it makes you happy and it will automatically make
people like you. If you force them to like you because you give them things,
they won’t like you. Don’t expect anything from them. Then, eventually, they will
like you. Maybe they won’t like you when you give them things for the first
time. The first time you give them things, they might think, ‘You’re just
testing me or you’re trying to buy me over.’ But if you keep giving, if you
help them when they need your help, or you forgive them when they do something
wrong, eventually, they will love you. They will be your friends. So, that’s
the purpose of giving mettā, to build friendship. You must not expect anything
in return from the people you give because if you do, then it’s not giving,
it’s trading: I give you this and you return me with something.
“Dhamma in English, Mar 6, 2018.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com
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