Ven Kumara
Dhamma Talk
Responsibility to the Dead:
REMEMBERING
AND LETTING GO
By Ven Kumara
We just chanted the Metta Sutta and the Mangala Sutta.
The Metta Sutta is chanted for the well being, happiness and peace of all
beings, far and near. The Mangala Sutta tells us what blessings are, such as
associating with the wise, having respect for those worthy of respect, and
showing gratitude.
We hope that Ah Loong who passed away 7 weeks ago, heard
the suttas and is also well, happy and peaceful. We hope that he heard the
blessings of the Mangala Sutta. One who has died and is not yet reborn can hear
the suttas because the consciousness is still around. He can understand the
suttas in any language because those in the spirit world have no language but
communicate with the mind.
Letting Go
Attachment to someone as a result of long association
is natural and understandable. However, attachments, such as on the part of the
living for the dead and vice versa, do not benefit anyone. Instead, it causes
and prolongs suffering. The coming and going of something is what impermanence
is all about. It is the way of the world and we have to accept it. I hope Ah
Loong and his family members understand this and are able to let go of this
attachment. Both parties have to let go. If not, his consciousness will
continue to wander and prevent his rebirth.
Difference between attachment and love
Real love has no attachments and asks for nothing in
return. It is unconditional and accepts whatever one does — good deeds, bad
deeds, coming and going. Love is good; attachment is not. Attachment brings
suffering whereas loving-kindness brings happiness. We must differentiate
between the two.
Remembering the Dead
The purpose of today’s dana is to transfer merits to
the deceased. You’ve performed a number of meritorious deeds today. You’ve
taken refuge in the Triple Gem, taken the 5 Precepts and offered food to the
Sangha. We have given and listened to a Dhamma talk and chanted. If Ah Loong
rejoices in these deeds, he will receive all the merits transferred to him. I
hope he receives these merits and goes to a better place. Today’s dana is one
way of fulfilling one of the responsibilities of the living towards the dead.
Transference of merits to the dead
This responsibility is expounded in the Tirokutta
Sutta which tells of dead relatives coming back to the house when the living
relatives are giving dana.
These departed relatives stand at the door, but
because of previous bad kamma, no one remembers them. Those with compassion
will offer good food to their dead relatives who will come and in return wish
for a long and happy life for the living. The dead depends on the living for
sustenance. This sutta likens these offerings for the dead to water flowing
down a river. In the same way, the offerings will flow down to the dead.
Considering the good deeds done for the living by the deceased while he was
alive, the living should make offerings for his benefit. Lamentation, on the
other hand, is no help to the dead. Offerings may include offerings to the
Sangha, which give strength to the Sangha and bring the highest and lasting
merits to the giver, according to the Buddha.
So, with this talk, I hope both the living and the
departed would know what is of use and what is not, and would know what to do
for the benefit of all.
Sadhu ...... Sadhu ....... Sadhu ........
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